Marriage in Islam
Halal, fatha, at the town hall, at the hall, sunna marriage, Shar’i marriage, free union, marriage in the bled, polygamy… all these names and expressions refer to the same event: marriage in Islam.
There is only one marriage in Islam, it is the shar’i and sunna marriage, that is to say, the marriage for Allah by following the rules of the shari’a of Allah (all Islamic legal rules) and the sunna established through the hadiths of our Prophet (may the prayer of Allah and His salvation be upon him).
Why all these expressions? These are innovations and inventions according to the cultures, the countries of origin and the aberrations of each other. There is also misunderstanding and lack of discernment between the act of marriage in Islam, and the festive acts that surround it according to the customs of different countries in the world.
We will endeavour to explain marriage in Islam from our references: the Koran and the sunnah of our Prophet (may the prayer of Allah and His salvation be upon him).
What is marriage in Islam?
Marriage in Islam is first and foremost, before being a Sunna act, a legal act, an act of love, it is an act of worship!
What is worship? All that Allah loves and accepts, among the words or deeds, apparent or hidden.
Marriage in Islam follows different rules according to different legal schools and countries in the world, but there are elements which do not change and which follow the rules established by our Prophet Muhammad (may the prayer of Allah and His salvation be on him): the rules of the sunna that validate marriage in Islam.
Marriage in Islam concludes the union of two people, pubescent and psychologically and legally responsible: a male person and a female person, in the name of Allah, and by following the sunna of our Prophet Muhammad (that the prayer of Allah and His salvation be upon him).
We will then see the 4 conditions necessary for the marriage contract according to the Maliki school, the majority legal school in the Maghreb and in Eastern Europe.
But marriage in Islam is not only a union between two people of different sex, but it is the basis of Islamic society.
Why marriage in Islam is the foundation of a healthy society?
Because it brings its share of rights and duties which bring a balance to society: the rights and duties of the spouses between them, the rights and duties of parents and children, and the rights and duties in the event of divorce.
Everything is balanced and framed. Like any Shari’ah rule, marriage in Islam brings justice to all involved and not the freedom to do what you want.
What do the sunnah and hadiths say about marriage in Islam?
Marriage in Islam is not only encouraged but has been highlighted by our Prophet Muhammad (may Allah’s prayers and His salvation be upon him) as an act that is part of the religion, not just an act worldly.
Narrated ‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Marriage is my Sunnah and whoever does not practice my Sunnah does not part of me.
Get married I would certainly be proud that you are the most numerous community among the other communities on the day of judgment.
Whoever can afford it should marry and whoever cannot find the means to marry should fast because fasting will be a protection for him”.
(Reported by Ibn Maja and authenticated by Sheikh Albani in Sahih Al Jami n°6807)
Read and re-read this hadith of our Prophet (peace be upon him) on marriage in Islam, it is of great importance. Marriage in Islam is a sunnah of our Prophet (peace be upon him) who expressly said that he who does not practice it is not part of him.
Another hadith regarding the importance of marriage in Islam is the Sunnah:
Ibn Mas’oud (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (may Allah’s prayer and His salvation be upon him) said:
“O, you young people! One of you who can do so should get married because it will make him look down and be more chaste for sex. And he who does not have the capacity while he fasts because fasting will be for his protection “
(Reported by Bukhari in his Sahih n°5065 and Muslim in his Sahih n°1400)
Through the hadiths of our Prophet, we can see that marriage in Islam has such importance in the Sunnah that there are direct injunctions to marry and to marry able young people.
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“If you come across someone whose religion and behaviour you are satisfied with, then marry him. If you don’t, it will bring disorder on the earth and great perversion.”
(Reported by Tirmidhi and authenticated by Sheikh Albani)
Marriage prevents young people from indulging in perversion and thus spreads disorder on Earth. The disorder here of which our Prophet speaks (may the prayer of Allah and His salvation be upon him) is the multiplication of children born without unions, without legal frameworks, and without legal officials, which leads to a problem of earthly justice.
This hadith also teaches us that the marriage proposal, the khitba, is an act legislated in the sunna.
The Prophet said (peace be upon him):
“Let the man not propose to a woman his brother has already asked.”
(Reported by Al Boukhari & Muslim)
This hadith indicates that the marriage proposal is legislated and permitted to the first applicant and that it is obligatory to observe his right in the request.
Just as the Prophet (may the prayer of Allah and His salvation be upon him) proposed in marriage ‘A’isha as well as Hafsa.
The 4 conditions of marriage in Islam
The presence of a tutor
Narrated ‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (may Allah’s prayer and His salvation be upon him) said: “There is no marriage without a guardian and the ruler is the guardian. of one who has no guardian“.
(Reported by Ahmed and authenticated by Sheikh Albani)
The woman must be represented by a guardian, who can be her father, her brother, if they are not present, her paternal uncle, otherwise, as our Prophet told us, the leader of the community in which the girl lives.
Why the presence of a tutor during the marriage in Islam? The guardian is here to protect the future wife as it is reported in a hadith of our Prophet.
The presence of two witnesses
According to Jabir Ibn Abdillah (may Allah be pleased with him and his father), the Prophet (may Allah’s prayer and His salvation be upon him) said: “There is no marriage without a guardian and two righteous witnesses”.
(Reported by Al Bayhaqi and authenticated by Sheikh Albani in Sahih Al Jami n°7557)
As we have seen in the hadith above, marriage in Islam cannot be concluded without the presence of two witnesses, who must be men of good character, i.e. who are not known to be notorious liars or thieves. Witnesses allow the legality of marriage in Islam and may be called upon to testify if a person challenges the marriage, hence the presence of two witnesses of good character.
Mutual consent in marriage
According to Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet (may Allah’s prayer and His salvation be upon him) said: “We do not marry the woman who has already experienced marriage without asking her order and we do not marry the virgin woman without having asked her permission”.
They said: O Messenger of Allah! How is his permission?
The Prophet (may the prayer of Allah and His salvation be upon him) said: “The fact that she is silent (*)“.
(Reported by Bukhari in his Sahih n°5136 and Muslim in his Sahih n°1419)
According to Khansa Bint Khidham Al Ansariya (may Allah be pleased with him), my father married me when I had already experienced marriage and I hated it. So I went to the Prophet (may the prayer of Allah and His salvation be upon him) who annulled the marriage.
(Reported by Bukhari)
According to Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them), a virgin girl went to the Prophet (may Allah’s prayer and His salvation be upon him) and mentioned that her father married her then that she hated it. So the Prophet (peace be upon him) gave him a choice.
(Reported by Abu Daoud authenticated by Sheikh Albani)
Marriage in Islam is not valid if the wife does not consent. In the previous hadiths, we realize that our Prophet cancelled a marriage because the girl had not given her consent, and gave the choice to another to be able to cancel the marriage for the same reason.
Everything that is done outside of this sunnah is a follow-up to traditions and customs that have nothing to do with the rules of marriage in Islam.
The dowry or the mahr
Allah says in the Quran:
“And give the wives their nihla, with good grace. If they willingly give up something to you, then dispose of it at your ease and with a good heart. “(Quran, 4:4).
Ibn Abbas says that the term ‘nihla’ used in this verse means dowry.
According to ‘Oqba Ibn ‘Amir (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet (may the prayer of Allah and His salvation be upon him) said: “The best marriage is the one that is easiest“.
(Reported by Abou Daoud and authenticated by Cheikh Albani in Sahih Al Jami n°3300)
The payment of the dowry is one of the conditions of marriage in Islam.
The choice of spouses: the most important stage of marriage in Islam
The most important stage of marriage in Islam is not the choice of the date of the wedding, the choice of the room and the dishes, but indeed the choice of the husband or the wife. The scholars of Islam have, from the sunna of our Prophet, defined a certain number of characteristics to avoid in a Muslim man and woman in the context of marriage in Islam.
The 7 men avoid
One who is not a Muslim.
Allah said in Surat Al Baqara: “And do not give wives to the idolaters until they have faith. Certainly, a believing slave is better than an associator even if you please. Those call to the fire while Allah to Paradise and forgiveness by his permission.” Sura 2 verse 221
The one who does not pray.
If the head of the family does not pray, who will order the other members of the family to pray? Especially that many scholars agree that a person who does not pray voluntarily and left Islam.
Prayer is the basis of worship and the life of the Muslim, he must respect his schedules and his accomplishment.
According to Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet (may the prayer of Allah and His salvation be upon him) said: “Certainly between a man and association and disbelief there is the abandonment of prayer”.
(Reported by Muslim)
One who cannot meet basic needs
The main duty of the husband in Islam is to support his wife. However, an idle or lazy person will find it difficult to meet the daily needs of his family. Or even worse one whose livelihood is haram. Allah will not give any baraka within the framework of marriage in Islam if the subsistence of the household comes from illicit activity.
The word dayuth is the man who has no jealousy towards his family.
That is to say, the dayuth is a man who does not feel jealous towards the women of his family and accepts bad behaviour.
The dayuth will not protect the women of his household from the turpitudes and external dangers that await them.
According to Abdallah Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with them), the Prophet (may Allah’s prayer and His salvation be upon him) said: “There are three people for whom Allah has forbidden paradise: the alcoholic, the one who does not behave well with his parents and the dayuth (*) who admits filth in his family”.
(Reported by Ahmed and authenticated by Sheikh Albani)
The narcissistic pervert
Often a two-faced man, gentle on the outside and tyrannical at home. The problem with these men is that in the context of marriage in Islam, they will use religion to achieve their goals.
‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (may Allah’s prayer and His salvation be upon him) said: “The best of you is the one who is the best with his family and I am the best of you with his family and when one of you dies to leave it (*)”.
(Reported by Tirmidhi and authenticated by Sheikh Albani)
Marriage in Islam is based on altruism and not selfishness. The husband must spread mutual aid and good behaviour within his home and not just think of himself.
According to Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet (may Allah’s prayer and His salvation be upon him) said: “The best alms is that which leaves wealth (*), the hand the highest is better than the lowest hand and starts with those under your control”.
(Reported by Ibn Khouzeima and authenticated by Sheikh Albani)
It does not befit the Muslim head of household to be miserly. Often there is confusion between modesty and avarice. Modesty is a noble behavior, which tends towards minimalism and simple living. As for avarice, it is a psychological illness that prevents all spending.
The 7 women to avoid
Al-Annânat – الأنانة
The woman who complains all the time, and pretends to be sick to draw attention to herself.
Al-Mannânat – المنانة
The woman who always praises her benefits and her qualities. She will never be grateful to her husband.
Al-Hannanat – الحنانة
The woman who is too attached to her family and friends. She leaves her home and her husband to spend time with family and friends.
Al Kananah الكنانة ا
The woman who always sells her past, her origins, and who thus belittles everything her husband does for her.
Al-Haddâqat – الحداقة
The materialistic woman. It will not help you in your religious life. She will not take care of her home.
Al-Barrâqat – البراقة
The narcissistic woman who spends too much time beautifying herself to look beautiful. She risks not taking care of her home and falling into tabarruj, the fact of going outside embellished and perfumed to attract people’s eyes.
Ash-Shaddâqat – والشداقة
The woman who talks a lot to say nothing. She may divulge the secrets of your home and annoy you more than anything else.
To sum up marriage in Islam in a few words:
Marriage in Islam according to the Sunnah of our Prophet is an act of worship which unites two people of opposite sex with the aim of protecting oneself and society from disorder, by creating a household in which the main call will be that of the worship of Allah.
There are legal conditions that must be met for the marriage contract in Islam to be valid, and these conditions are found in the Sunnah of our Prophet and have been recorded in the hadiths.
The most important act in marriage in Islam is the choice of husband or wife, because it is fundamental to the sustainability of the Muslim home and life in a good community.
May Allah make it easy for any Muslim and Muslim who wants to get married. Amine!
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